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FMLs submitted from Rhode Island

Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

#1145321
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79379) - you deserved it (7549)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was out shopping for bras. While in one store, I couldn't seem to find any in my size. When I asked an employee for help, they took one look at my chest and said "Mabye you should try our girls section, we have a lot of training bras." I'm 25. FML

#882840
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53154) - you deserved it (4478)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by blahhhh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the gym with two of my friends expecting to pay a guest fee but the cute guy working at the front desk let me in for free. On the way out after working out I started to flirt with him and he said "Don't flatter yourself, I just let you in because I'm lazy." FML

#588112
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65987) - you deserved it (15640)

On 03/24/2009 at 9:48pm - love - by sarah_sad (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, these kids in my math class told me to ask this girl if I could lick her clit. I basically yelled 'what's a clit'? Everyone looked at me. I'm a senior in high school, no one has yet to explain it to me. I had to google it when i got home. FML

#254280
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (80596)

On 03/09/2009 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by danmarino (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML

#139235
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55275) - you deserved it (21167)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by sopathetic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML

#118057
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61235) - you deserved it (6943)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:31pm - love - by Kfeaaa (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend of four months broke up with me via text message. He spelled my name wrong. FML

#54894
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48681) - you deserved it (3823)

On 02/16/2009 at 6:01pm - love - by tacky_unrefined (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML

#47954
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29956) - you deserved it (47959)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15106) - you deserved it (159555)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

#6627
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46142) - you deserved it (1957)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:46pm - money - by fire0fisis - United States (Rhode Island)



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