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FMLs submitted from Rhode Island

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13895) - you deserved it (52440)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

#4363957
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32523) - you deserved it (22807)

On 08/07/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by terpity12 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was fired from my job at a local family-ran restaurant. The Reason? The owner's daughter has been stealing money from the register little by little and has blamed me for all the lost money. The boss is still convinced it's me, though, because his daughter would "never tell a lie". FML

#4297624
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47417) - you deserved it (2163)

On 08/05/2009 at 12:13am - money - by familydisaster (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

#3904309
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75885) - you deserved it (3924)

On 07/20/2009 at 11:43am - love - by good_job_john (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (12235)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at work, I was calling customers to tell them that they had prescriptions waiting to be picked up. It was a long list and every time I reached an answering machine I left our number so they could call us back. When I was finished, the pharmacist told me I been giving out our fax number. FML

#3582524
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16289) - you deserved it (36580)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:52pm - work - by pharmn00b (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my friend told me that semen was inflammable. Later at night I jacked off into a sock and then, excitedly, tried to lit the sock on fire. Turns out, semen is very much not inflammable. Naked, I shook my sock in the air so it would extinguish while my semen splashed out all over my room. FML

#3262847
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9822) - you deserved it (119734)

On 06/27/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by notinflammable (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my brother and I were going to give our parents their anniversary gift which cost us over $3000. The gift was a trip to London in August to see a show on Michael Jackson's comeback tour. FML

#3237378
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102997) - you deserved it (9893)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:31am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (77820)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

#2230687
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63602) - you deserved it (12583)

On 05/24/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Imretarded (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

#2003683
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51330) - you deserved it (7897)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML

#1732153
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57754) - you deserved it (4497)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by PetitPrincePerdu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I used the bathroom on a bus from New York to Boston, and carefully covered the seat with twenty of the single-square toilet paper rations. As I was peeing, the bus flew over a bump and swerved sharply, and my entire naked bottom was splashed with urine and poop. It wasn't my own. FML

#1145321
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78922) - you deserved it (7497)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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