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FMLs submitted from Rhode Island

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

#7147061
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30966) - you deserved it (6190)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by kady (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

#6860527
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9922) - you deserved it (16616)

On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26993) - you deserved it (3569)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that my 2 week Christmas vacation my boss was talking about wasn't for this year, but 2010. I spent the day with my husband cancelling flights to Florida, and explaning to my 8 year old why we were not going to Disney World. FML

#6557406
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34073) - you deserved it (4560)

On 12/01/2009 at 8:32pm - work - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I invited the guy I've been seeing to my home for the first time. He spent over an hour talking to my twelve-year-old dog. Occasionally he would look up to ask me a question, but when I answered he would just continue talking to the dog. FML

#6205717
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26919) - you deserved it (3403)

On 11/08/2009 at 12:28am - animals - by lessinterestingthanadog (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the allergist. I found out that I am allergic to dogs, cats, wool, fleece, and pet dander. I'm currently planning to go to school to become a veterinarian. FML

#6054413
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37712) - you deserved it (3311)

On 10/29/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by KMack (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up excited for my trip to Jamaica with my friends. We went to the airport, and I gave them my passport to check in. They gave it back. It had expired three weeks ago. I watched my friends board the plane while I'm stuck in the city. FML

#5617258
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13851) - you deserved it (46467)

On 10/03/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by hahahaha91 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

#5570675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48843) - you deserved it (2594)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I called my boss to let her know that I was suffering from severe depression and that my doctor suggested I take a month's leave. Her response: "Glad you are getting help, however we can't hold your job. No need to come to the office, we'll mail your stuff to you." FML

#5480161
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36455) - you deserved it (5917)

On 09/26/2009 at 3:01am - work - by zawbentley - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I bought a fish bowl and a fish for $15. I brought him home and sat him on my desk. Everything was going well until the shelf gave out and his bowl slid off of the shelf... onto my $2,000 computer. The computer is fried and is not covered by the insurance, the fish is fine. FML

#5430924
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34470) - you deserved it (10146)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Bubba (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28723) - you deserved it (5098)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

#5211678
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26466) - you deserved it (4007)

On 09/12/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by 0ros (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, being a big believer in karma, I found it fitting that a girl that was always a bitch to me in high school is now fat and ugly. After sending one of her recent pictures with a mean caption to a few of my friends, I tripped and sprained my wrist falling up the stairs. Karma. FML

#4550264
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13894) - you deserved it (52438)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by whatgoesaround (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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