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FMLs submitted from Rhode Island

Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML

#13876258
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (10458)

On 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by bottomdrawerraider (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was walking back to campus with my boyfriend when we passed an Irish pub called "Fat Belly's." He put his arm around me, patted my stomach, and said "Yay! It's your restaurant!" FML

#13841183
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25958) - you deserved it (6358)

On 11/14/2010 at 1:54pm - love - by freedomofmusic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

#12266634
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40293) - you deserved it (4668)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:55pm - love - by hAHAha Halo (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML

#12008337
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12318) - you deserved it (69441)

On 07/20/2010 at 7:08pm - work - by jjjjjjmmmmm92 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

#9157665
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68832) - you deserved it (5917)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. A pretty redhead came on the screen. One of my guy friends leaned over to me and said, "Have you noticed there aren't any pretty redheads in real life?" I guess he forgot what color my hair is. FML

#8516526
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27341) - you deserved it (2742)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Mika_Ookami - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized I can never live with my fiancée. A childhood of systematic teasing, abuse, and humiliation has made me terrified to use a bathroom around a guy if there's the slightest chance I can be heard, seen, or even have anyone know what I'm up to. Therapy has yet to fix anything. FML

#8164087
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (4807)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:23am - love - by silentsuzie (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out my broker invested my $6000 in the wrong stock. How did I find out? He called me to let me know the stock crashed. FML

#8132919
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (3129)

On 02/11/2010 at 3:13pm - money - by extants - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to contest a parking ticket in court. I came out 3 hours later, all charges clear, to a new parking ticket on my windshield, for the same amount I just got cleared. FML

#7497473
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9046) - you deserved it (25866)

On 01/22/2010 at 11:28am - misc - by sdfsdf - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

#7459742
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (7712)

On 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm - health - by M_Kclift1994 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

#7147061
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (6023)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by kady (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

#6860527
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9149) - you deserved it (15246)

On 12/21/2009 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my partner and I were spending quality time with a newly single friend. She quoted some song lyrics, saying "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, make an ugly woman your wife...". We all laughed, and then my partner said "Boy, you got THAT right." FML

#6739480
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25023) - you deserved it (3385)

On 12/13/2009 at 3:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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