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FMLs submitted from Rhode Island

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (8187)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML

#17541150
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7272) - you deserved it (61930)

On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years still refuses to memorize my phone number or remember my birthday because he says there is a limited amount of space in his brain and he does not want to push any important information out. FML

#17099687
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27371) - you deserved it (6217)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:44pm - love - by skidoosh (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML

#16577754
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42348) - you deserved it (5537)

On 06/09/2011 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (2950)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

#16417126
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (26457)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by trev - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

#14964211
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (2935)

On 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by bride2be (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

#14961230
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41833) - you deserved it (8707)

On 02/13/2011 at 5:32pm - intimacy - by Katrina (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my husband invited a couple of his college friends over for dinner. While we were in the middle of eating, one of them asked loudly, "Hey, whatever happened to that fat bitch you dated in your third year?" We've been dating since his second year. FML

#14545720
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34500) - you deserved it (3303)

On 01/11/2011 at 2:06pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

#14504548
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (4420)

On 01/08/2011 at 1:38am - love - by Some Girl - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I attended my son's Christmas concert. When I went to sit down in the last available seat, a woman said she was saving it for her husband. Having nowhere else to sit, I stood in the back, for an hour. The seat remained empty for the entire concert. FML

#14214916
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30748) - you deserved it (3634)

On 12/15/2010 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML

#14070103
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31076) - you deserved it (8809)

On 12/03/2010 at 9:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

#13939042
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27831) - you deserved it (4691)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by anti-peecleaner (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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