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FMLs submitted from Rhode Island

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20149) - you deserved it (40703)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I excitedly told my family that, after years of studying and dedication, I've been awarded a full scholarship to Germany. My mom's reaction was to start sobbing about me becoming a "heathen" and my dad and brother started telling Nazi jokes. FML

#21237389
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39827) - you deserved it (3275)

On 08/14/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by UnSupported (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML

#21200725
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49276) - you deserved it (5504)

On 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm - misc - by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML

#21126578
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42564) - you deserved it (6669)

On 04/29/2014 at 8:10pm - misc - by gircos (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

#21118892
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53920) - you deserved it (13390)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:43am - intimacy - by Sue Ellen (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to listen to my boss say "Arabica beans" in a goofy, fake New England accent every time the McDonald's ice coffee commercial came on the radio. I worked a 12-hour shift. FML

#20937230
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (2846)

On 10/28/2013 at 8:53pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54399) - you deserved it (4572)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

#20835961
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39080) - you deserved it (3112)

On 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm - money - by What. - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32836) - you deserved it (48136)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55424) - you deserved it (4717)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (10810)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML

#20574528
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (4420)

On 04/04/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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