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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, I was going to kiss my girlfriend for the first time. As I leaned in, closed my eyes, and was about to kiss her, she pushed me away and said, "Not with that pimple on your chin." FML

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (2840)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (11300)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57160) - you deserved it (2891)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

#17060608
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (3975)

On 07/11/2011 at 12:23am - kids - by MotherofET (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I tried to talk to my boyfriend about our communication problems. He fell asleep. FML

#16984113
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (7027)

On 07/05/2011 at 7:48am - love - by Ella - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11904) - you deserved it (53242)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that fist pumping during sex is not romantic. FML

#16525505
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (6087)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:44am - intimacy - by ... - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML

#16076748
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (6823)

On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (7200)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML

#15635520
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30923) - you deserved it (2691)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by BrisbaneCoop - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a missed call from a lady at an employment agency asking why I hadn't turned up to an information session for a potential job. Yesterday, the same lady told me the job position was canceled. FML

#15087030
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (2094)

On 02/23/2011 at 2:10am - work - by ellie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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