Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (4534)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (9577)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

#20051466
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27953) - you deserved it (2266)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

#20016514
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21105) - you deserved it (2109)

On 08/12/2012 at 5:23am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30986) - you deserved it (2134)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

#19828906
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25675) - you deserved it (1750)

On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I proudly told my elitist dad that I now have a beautiful girlfriend. He didn't believe me, so I showed him her Facebook. He demanded that I stop seeing her, saying that the duck-facing in her avatar was the hallmark of "a lower form of being" who would only ever shame our family. FML

#19778453
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11718) - you deserved it (27894)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:39pm - love - by idontgetit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother, the plumber, was called to unblock a toilet. Whenever this occurs, he takes a photo of it and sends it to me. It always seems to happen around meal time. FML

#19743294
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19993) - you deserved it (2007)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:55am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20073) - you deserved it (2287)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML

Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML

#19574398
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20074) - you deserved it (2417)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm - love - by AnonymousUser (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML

#19569212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21205) - you deserved it (1773)

On 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the bed I sleep in is the bed I was conceived in. FML



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: