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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, my bus got held up in traffic, so I arrived home about 15 minutes late. My mum bitched me out, accused me of sleeping around, and grounded me. All this while my brother raged at his video game in the other room, screaming stuff such as "EAT SHIT, YOU CUNTS!" with total impunity. FML

#20516248
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/21/2013 at 1:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

#20509972
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (6153)

On 02/16/2013 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML

#20489969
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38444) - you deserved it (4170)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I spent most of my daughter's 8th birthday with her in the hospital while her broken arm was put in a cast. Apparently, my son had told her that some people gained the ability to fly on their 8th birthday before encouraging her to find out by jumping off the slippery slide. FML

#20486554
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (2084)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28149) - you deserved it (1958)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32173) - you deserved it (1975)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss put me on suspension for violating company policy by having non-work related mail in my inbox. They were spam emails. FML

#20478634
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28028) - you deserved it (2017)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML

#20458912
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (3511)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19047) - you deserved it (7811)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML

#20192033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40180) - you deserved it (2605)

On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (2016)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML



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