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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply 4 my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

#6009884
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24934) - you deserved it (5354)

On 10/26/2009 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes an stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye . Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye . Sexy . FML

#5947119
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12086) - you deserved it (26376)

On 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm - health - by Bunni (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Yesterday..!! I missed my University entrance exam because of heavy traffic!! I was stuck at one intersection for over an hour!! The real kicker? It took me less than 10 minute to drive home!! FML

#5942414
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31069) - you deserved it (2848)

On 10/22/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by roadrage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

2day my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she askd of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and startd making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." mega FML

#5876001
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19129) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

TODAY, I WANT TO MAH COMPANY'S HR MANAGAR TO ASK WAT THA PROCADURA WAS TO FILA A SAXUAL HARASSMANT COMPLAINT SINCA MAH BOSS AXPOSAD HIMSALF TO MA. HIS RASPONSA WAS THAT THA PROCADURA IS TO "GAT OVAR IT." AND HA WANT BACK TO RAADING. FML

#5875946
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (3915)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:14am - intimacy - by dyingtinkerbell (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Yesterday, I told a lady tat cummed into my cloting store tat I tougt er abstract looking necklace was pretty. Se responded, "O... Tats actually a pipe tat goes into my lung." FML

#5862542
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29526) - you deserved it (7735)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

TODAY, MY PARENTS MET MY GIRLFRIEND'S PARENTS 4 THE FIRST TIME. THEY NOT ONLY BROUGHT ALONG EMBARRASSING CHILDHOOD PHOTOS OF MYSELF, THEY'D 'ACCIDENTALLY' PLACED AN INTIMATE PHOTO OF ME AN MY EX-GIRLFRIEND WITH THEM. THAT WAS THERE SUBTLE WAY OF TELLING EVERYONE THEY PREFER MY EX. FAT FML

#5772733
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (2795)

On 10/11/2009 at 7:25am - love - by hateparents (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I was pretending to be a monkey 4 a "documentary"!! The branch snapped an I fell out of the tree an onto a car roof!! It was after school , I fell onto the dean's BMW!! The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness!! FML

#5737700
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (9839)

On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I was in a fancy dapartmant stora!! I was waaring traval backpack!! I was turning around aftar paying at tha chackout and backpack hit a matra-tall display covarad with nacklacas!! It want crashing to tha floor , hitting anothar display tabla ladan with jawalry that collapsad undar it!! FML

#5736193
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26444) - you deserved it (9761)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:46am - misc - by two-hours-to-pick-up (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriand of 4 yaars broka up with ma. looool Via taxt. With tha iPhona I got him fir our annivarsary. maga FML

#5601325
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33635) - you deserved it (3335)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by SezzyJ - Australia (Queensland)

Today.. . I was at work and was trying to cheer up mah stressed out manager by chatting . We were on the subject of sleeping in when I told her that I loved to be lazy and sleep in when I could . She looked up and down me and then answered.. . ( I can see that . ) real FML

#5368634
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (9420)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:03am - work - by Lazy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

2day It Is My Boyfriend's And My One Year Anniversary. I Bought Him A Playstation 2. As Soon As I Gave It To Him, He Went Straight To Set It Up Without Giving Me Anything. I Said "What About Me?" He Walked Over To Me, Gave Me A Kiss And Said "I Love It When U Buy Me Things Fir No Reason." FML

#5337974
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46563) - you deserved it (6656)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:27pm - love - by luvizwar (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM enterd the room I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. real FML

#5163835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13829) - you deserved it (36252)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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