Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

#6953786
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (9087)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by creepyguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

#6933166
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29319) - you deserved it (2909)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - love - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a mental breakdown after going through severe depression for several years. I told my boyfriend that everybody thinks I'm useless, to which he replied, "No you're not. You cook me good dinners." FML

#6850424
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25833) - you deserved it (6989)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Suicidal (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML

#6789121
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (5439)

On 12/17/2009 at 2:57am - work - by Brittanyy_leigh (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

#6727065
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (12325)

On 12/12/2009 at 8:29pm - kids - by ljjprchf (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was doing a study on homeless people and how they manage to stay alive on the streets. Turns out the one I was studying today was given more money than I make in a week. FML

#6705143
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26646) - you deserved it (2425)

On 12/11/2009 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (25519)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML

#6596310
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23737) - you deserved it (2296)

On 12/04/2009 at 5:35am - money - by anon - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34152) - you deserved it (5123)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

#6309231
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (5410)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by John (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

#6225217
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (47452)

On 11/09/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by fuck_thisshit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was performing an experiment in science class. The prac required me to shake up a test tube filled with different materials. Taking the test tube in one hand, I shook it up and down. My teacher then stood next to me and said, "It's disturbing how good you are at that." FML

#6186656
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24463) - you deserved it (4809)

On 11/06/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: