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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

#10158363
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39276) - you deserved it (8725)

On 04/26/2010 at 5:58am - intimacy - by Rowden (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was expecting a call from my friend. The phone rang and I answered with "WANK!!" as a joke. It wasn't my friend on the phone, it was my boss. FML

#10132808
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8632) - you deserved it (38782)

On 04/25/2010 at 6:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML

#8993133
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34971) - you deserved it (3937)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:50am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out the hard way that my girlfriend lied about being on the pill four months ago. FML

#8366883
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31798) - you deserved it (7339)

On 02/17/2010 at 3:15am - health - by Daddy. (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

#8223058
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26253) - you deserved it (9216)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm - love - by AnnaNick (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML

#8040620
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (1883)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:40am - health - by utensils123 (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML

#7873288
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29632) - you deserved it (4310)

On 02/04/2010 at 9:52am - love - by EchoDearEcho (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I ran into my ex's family, and found out they are going to Europe. Funnily enough, so am I. Even funnier is the fact that we are going on the same date, at the same time, on the same flights, and the tour starts on the same day in the same place. FML

#7810675
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34793) - you deserved it (3274)

On 02/02/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jacques (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

#7564644
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (2988)

On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, whilst at work, my dad decided to call me and sing an entire rendition of 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers. There was a big line of people, and my boss had been standing nearby checking out my phone. I had to stand there and listen to the whole song. FML

#7452564
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17450) - you deserved it (4225)

On 01/20/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by embarrassedinretail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

#7193385
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (3423)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:36am - health - by Srain (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my stepdad did a crap in the shape of the number 2, took a picture of it and showed it to all my friends at my party, while we were eating. FML

#7077814
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (3622)

On 01/01/2010 at 6:12am - misc - by Moosh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML

#6967912
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18805) - you deserved it (3665)

On 12/27/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by jaded_woman (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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