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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, I'd finally reached my goal weight. I went into the office where my husband was, to show him the new size 8 jeans I'd bought. He responded with "I wouldn't buy any more clothes, you'll be putting the weight back on again soon." FML

#13072362
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27945) - you deserved it (3669)

On 09/16/2010 at 9:17am - health - by gretel (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

#12679955
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (5752)

On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)

Today, mine and my boyfriend's concerns that we are too loud in bed were definitely confirmed when his entire family stopped the movie they were watching and vacated the cinema room located directly below us. They returned and resumed a while after we were finished. FML

#12622107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7038) - you deserved it (31040)

On 08/19/2010 at 7:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend of a year exclaimed 'Oh my god!' for the first time during sex. Nope, I haven't improved in bed, I recently moved a tv into my room and something exciting happened on the show she was watching. FML

#12619171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (12273)

On 08/19/2010 at 2:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML

#12535853
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45253) - you deserved it (3315)

On 08/15/2010 at 7:39am - intimacy - by bbbblt - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

#12201100
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37957) - you deserved it (9378)

On 07/30/2010 at 2:45am - intimacy - by hairless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went camping with my husband. We drove 11 hours to his favourite site before he remembered he didn't put the tent in the car. FML

#11374719
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (5327)

On 06/22/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by angry - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had a first date planned. He texted saying he was sick and couldn't make it. Two hours later his twitter account said otherwise. FML

#11261528
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30973) - you deserved it (3860)

On 06/17/2010 at 8:42am - love - by hopelesss88 - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was in a car with my house-mate and friends after a long day of studying, when we pulled up at our place. Thinking that we were all going to hang there, I waited for everyone to start getting out. No one did. Turns out they were just waiting for me to get out so they could then leave and go out together. FML

#11099858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (3360)

On 06/10/2010 at 8:54am - misc - by Unwanted (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

#10981673
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (3639)

On 06/05/2010 at 2:59am - misc - by someoneelsessaliva (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my fiancé admitted to me that he only found big girls attractive, that's why he could "never cheat on me with my friends." FML

#10881510
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34783) - you deserved it (6253)

On 05/31/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML

#10707989
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17429) - you deserved it (25786)

On 05/23/2010 at 5:21am - misc - by Oops (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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