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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

#18095179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23108) - you deserved it (2269)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:50am - misc - by -__- - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30316) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

#18005415
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (2905)

On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41979) - you deserved it (3314)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

#17869851
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (2032)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28367) - you deserved it (8242)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14171) - you deserved it (31375)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39676) - you deserved it (5326)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband wrote all these wonderful romantic messages to me via Facebook, proclaiming his love to me in front of all my friends and family. Too bad he hasn't spoken to me in "real life" for almost 3 weeks. FML

#17498431
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (3272)

On 08/17/2011 at 8:13am - misc - by howtragic - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was going to kiss my girlfriend for the first time. As I leaned in, closed my eyes, and was about to kiss her, she pushed me away and said, "Not with that pimple on your chin." FML

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31178) - you deserved it (3042)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (11921)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60021) - you deserved it (3088)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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