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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (3037)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while driving to my daughter's wedding, the person behind us kept laying on her horn and yelling every time I stopped for a red light. That person was my wife. Sadly I'm too whipped to stand up to her and spent the whole drive pretending not to hear my passengers snickering at me. FML

#21299484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (7007)

On 11/15/2014 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized that at 20 years old I already have noticeable wrinkles around my eyes. But to balance it out, my chronic acne keeps me looking youthful. FML

#21299204
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (2315)

On 11/14/2014 at 9:18pm - health - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

#21295236
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32759) - you deserved it (3200)

On 11/09/2014 at 3:37am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

#21260387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (2464)

On 09/18/2014 at 12:05am - health - by adamwilcockson - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

#21244302
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (5027)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:40am - animals - by abusedparrot - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40476) - you deserved it (4652)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41190) - you deserved it (8845)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (4538)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML

#21231545
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44294) - you deserved it (3851)

On 08/07/2014 at 5:09am - intimacy - by failallday (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got sent to the head teacher's office for doing "stupid hand gestures and disrupting the class". Yesterday my teacher told the class to do the same hand gesture to ask for permission to go to the toilet so it wouldn't interrupt her talking. FML

#21226435
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39661) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:24am - misc - by Bad Teacher - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

#21219985
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18270) - you deserved it (48348)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:05am - animals - by fuckendog (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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