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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Queensland

Today, my friend's kid chased me with a rusty, sharp tent peg and threatened to kill me. When I finally got him to calm down he ran off to his room. Later, I found the tent peg under his pillow with a note that said my name. My friend thinks it's hilarious. I am staying here for a week. FML

#19046933 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (4943) - you deserved it (390)

On 02/11/2012 at 8:41am - kids - by FuckLife (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after 2 days of not showering. FML

#18783531 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (1969) - you deserved it (8960)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:34am - health - by Anon (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

#18509523 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (7531) - you deserved it (2903)

On 12/14/2011 at 3:49am - animals - by frostedmist (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

#18335372 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (11420) - you deserved it (1734)

On 11/24/2011 at 8:57am - intimacy - by Jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (14186) - you deserved it (6140)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

#18095179 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (15251) - you deserved it (1297)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:50am - misc - by -__- - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML

#18005415 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (9340) - you deserved it (912)

On 10/17/2011 at 7:46am - health - by Cats...FML (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (13082) - you deserved it (938)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

#17869851 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (16045) - you deserved it (1270)

On 09/30/2011 at 8:52am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (16418) - you deserved it (4683)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was expecting my period. To avoid the embarrassment of everyone in the office finding out, instead of putting tampons in my bag, I hid one in my bra. It fell out while I was coming back from lunch. I am now known to all as "The Tampon Dispenser". FML

#17803687 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (9212) - you deserved it (19451)

On 09/22/2011 at 9:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671 (305)

I agree, your life sucks (11771) - you deserved it (1344)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)