FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

by minder97 / 10/17/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I was kicked out of the mall along with a bunch of my friends, sworn at by the security guards, and personally escorted all the way to the sidewalk, only to find out we'd been mistaken for another group of people. FML

by -- / 10/15/2011 at 7:40pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

by ab / 10/09/2011 at 1:11am / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

by hairless / 10/08/2011 at 11:53pm / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

by sorenips / 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

by Jesus / 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

by Eli / 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 12:38am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

by Gurior / 09/04/2011 at 3:01am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

by ol faithful / 09/03/2011 at 5:24am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

by d0rk_ / 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous