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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30652) - you deserved it (6004)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

#14175657
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28929) - you deserved it (7382)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I hit a patch of black ice and totaled my car. The car is a month old. For the next 5 years I'll be paying for a car I can't drive. FML

#14105918
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (7781)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:51am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML

#13991584
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (2839)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sixteen year old son told me that he's following his guidance counselor's advice: to do what his hero does for a living. The problem? His hero is SpongeBob Squarepants. His ambition in life is to become a fry cook. FML

#13753652
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (4053)

On 11/07/2010 at 3:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

#13403572
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (5381)

On 10/11/2010 at 5:07am - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68837) - you deserved it (7747)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (12590)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34183) - you deserved it (2371)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out I'm being sued by the man whose life I practically saved a month ago. He says the way I pulled him out of the car he was trapped in has left him with permanent back problems. FML

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the 90s. FML

#12574406
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (8494)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:59am - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML

#12108536
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (9720)

On 07/25/2010 at 7:21pm - kids - by animelover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML

#12070882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (42416)

On 07/23/2010 at 7:47pm - misc - by Not So Smart (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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