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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28814) - you deserved it (2742)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24972) - you deserved it (9242)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28138) - you deserved it (13784)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12140) - you deserved it (42884)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

#17651078
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8108) - you deserved it (36385)

On 09/03/2011 at 5:24am - misc - by ol faithful (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (4599)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

#16321332
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27703) - you deserved it (2544)

On 05/23/2011 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41055) - you deserved it (3779)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

#15937673
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13456) - you deserved it (22988)

On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27227) - you deserved it (10131)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21663) - you deserved it (2815)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

#14549895
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (6002)

On 01/12/2011 at 12:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML

#14175657
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you deserved it (7381)

On 12/12/2010 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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