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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

#17898016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (27416)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31080) - you deserved it (15112)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (2752)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (9245)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (13899)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12174) - you deserved it (42962)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

#17651078
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8120) - you deserved it (36473)

On 09/03/2011 at 5:24am - misc - by ol faithful (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was in English when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I have to walk across my school with a plunger. FML

#17645605
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (4601)

On 09/02/2011 at 4:44pm - misc - by d0rk_ - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boss contacted me to come in for a quick meeting. I drove 30 minutes to get to work only to find out she was firing me and wanted my key card back. FML

#16321332
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (2547)

On 05/23/2011 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41493) - you deserved it (3822)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

#15937673
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13487) - you deserved it (23022)

On 04/26/2011 at 6:25pm - misc - by Jyocka (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27290) - you deserved it (10144)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)



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