FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

by FarmerGirl / 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML

by lbelle / 10/07/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

by weave9z / 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2012 at 12:29am / Canada (Quebec) / Kids

Today, I was bagging my groceries when I accidentally smacked myself in the face with a box of popsicles, giving myself a nose bleed. I found out that the cashier hates the sight of blood when she passed out behind the register. They called security on me. FML

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 12:54am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

by missmisfit / 06/13/2012 at 12:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

by daddyowl / 05/25/2012 at 12:32am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous