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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML

#18567252
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (5583)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15116) - you deserved it (38903)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30853) - you deserved it (2396)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it's cold and rainy. I would like nothing more than to drink hot chocolate and watch a movie with the woman I love; the same woman who cheated on me and took the TV with her when she left. FML

#18385318
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36490) - you deserved it (3547)

On 11/29/2011 at 2:29pm - love - by toobad - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was yelled at by a customer because I couldn't tell her where the vitamins were in the pharmacy. The manager came and yelled at me for being lazy and incompetent. I work in the store across the street from the pharmacy. FML

#18190059
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29766) - you deserved it (2296)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:45am - work - by jodafish - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

#18003524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34671) - you deserved it (2268)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by minder97 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was kicked out of the mall along with a bunch of my friends, sworn at by the security guards, and personally escorted all the way to the sidewalk, only to find out we'd been mistaken for another group of people. FML

#17992397
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (2201)

On 10/15/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by -- - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

#17940087
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29660) - you deserved it (2178)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I learned the hard way that your little brother is not joking when he threatens to shave your eyebrows if you don't let him watch cartoons. FML

#17939452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26123) - you deserved it (6106)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:53pm - kids - by hairless - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

#17898016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25547) - you deserved it (3305)

On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16488) - you deserved it (27116)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

#17839150
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30993) - you deserved it (15076)

On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a violent allergic reaction to some bread I ate at a restaurant. How did they apologize? By sending me a free basket of bread. FML

#17782998
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28792) - you deserved it (2737)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:21pm - health - by Eli (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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