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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31879) - you deserved it (3011)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML

#19974801
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23486) - you deserved it (1903)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm - misc - by bitchimgay (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

#19948204
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (1817)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

#19779823
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (2785)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:14am - animals - by missmisfit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20512) - you deserved it (2546)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mom watched a Dr. Phil episode. She's now hysterical because she assumes me and my friends are involved in sex parties. All because a man on the TV said so. FML

#19671635
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24202) - you deserved it (1961)

On 05/24/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by silencio - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out via Facebook status that my boyfriend is going to Hawaii with a group of friends, including his ex-girlfriend for a few weeks. When I confronted him about it, he said he didn't think I needed to know, and to mind my own business. I think I'm about to be single. FML

#19661791
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29763) - you deserved it (3093)

On 05/22/2012 at 10:32am - love - by angry girlfriend - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38337) - you deserved it (2898)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML

#19332021
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (4110)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:23am - health - by cjd - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

#19269481
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26421) - you deserved it (2214)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my new roommate told me he was bisexual. A little concerned, I opened up and told him that made me uncomfortable. His reply: "Oh don't worry, I'm only attracted to good looking guys." FML

#19232371
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (45207)

On 03/07/2012 at 9:01am - misc - by Leland - Canada (Quebec)



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