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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, I bought body chocolate to use in bed with my boyfriend in the hopes of spicing things up. Everything was going great, until I tasted it. It was disgusting and actually made me gag a little. Later, my boyfriend checked the label and started laughing. It had expired 3 years ago. FML

#593537
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (77702)

On 03/25/2009 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143803) - you deserved it (14328)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144591) - you deserved it (38694)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was talking to this hot girl I have dinner with every week. Lately she’s always telling me how she loves me and I do the same. Today she said: "The way we talk and act around each other, people would think we were dating." My answer was: "Aren't we?". FML

#369529
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83886) - you deserved it (15069)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was shopping with my friends and I got asked by a man if I could be in one of his commercials. I obviously said yes without thinking twice. I then found out that he wanted me to be the before picture for an acne control moisturizer. FML

#334298
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59317) - you deserved it (9293)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by sad45 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

#183529
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53970) - you deserved it (6789)

On 03/02/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (276328) - you deserved it (60164)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my two best friends decided to boycott Valentine's Day, ditching their boyfriends to hang out together. Not only am I single, but I wasn't invited. FML

#43145
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37447) - you deserved it (2339)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

#14536
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (6196)

On 02/08/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at the elementary school where I teach, the kids all voted for their favorite teacher. I was the only one to receive zero votes. When I asked a small group of students why no one voted for me, one boy replied "because you're the ugliest". FML

#8789
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47425) - you deserved it (3628)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:40pm - kids - by teach - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

#8356
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11981) - you deserved it (43292)

On 02/04/2009 at 4:05pm - health - by BritneyFink (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (2920)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I did a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months work file helped make the best sausages I've ever done. FML

#164
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14834) - you deserved it (27552)

On 10/30/2008 at 10:51am - work - by Sam - Canada (Quebec)



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