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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42323) - you deserved it (4245)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

#20689895
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40174) - you deserved it (4557)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (9252)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my sister was faced with the choice of getting a burger, or picking me up in a snowstorm. The burger won, and I had to travel 4km home by foot. FML

#20579065
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28390) - you deserved it (1656)

On 04/07/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the bank to find out why they've taken $200 from me. By the time I show them my bank card, ID and tell them my problem, they accuse me of stealing my own identity, and refuse to give me my money back. FML

#20561553
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (1218)

On 03/26/2013 at 9:37pm - money - by arsenicalhumor (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

#20511774
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29326) - you deserved it (2875)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23657) - you deserved it (1927)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (4231)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (1961)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (10199)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

#20409320
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (8623)

On 12/20/2012 at 5:45pm - intimacy - by alicia (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

#20405418
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25257) - you deserved it (7600)

On 12/18/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by Dog_Lover (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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