Today, I called my mother who is vacationing in Florida with my dad and sister. Before they left I told them I would be very responsible and that they could trust me. The first thing she asked me is if all the animals were still alive. I said yes. I lied. Her favourite cat drowned in the pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4266) - you totally deserved it (17151)
On 11/16/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by baddaughter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
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On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16654) - you totally deserved it (4860)
On 11/12/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my mom texted me in the middle of my end of term math exam, saying it was extremely urgent and needed me to come home ASAP. While skipping my exam, I finally got home to find out my mom forgot what the emergency was. FML
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On 11/06/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by failedexam (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago "told her that I was cheating on her," telepathically. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you totally deserved it (1199)
On 10/30/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by iGotSkill (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, the guy I was seeing put candles all over his room to make things romantic. As we were getting it on, a plastic bag caught fire next to the bed. He had the brilliant idea to wave it around to put it out. Burning pieces of plastic landed on my arm. FML
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On 10/28/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by LadySteph12 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I drove 3 hours to go to an award ceremony. When I got there, I had to wait an hour for the hall to open, then sat listening to speeches for two hours, got my "award", and drove 3 hours home. The award was a small pin that I already had. FML
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On 10/25/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by HoShiz (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you totally deserved it (1553)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by kthx (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, working my pizza delivery job, I got a $45 parking ticket for parking in a no stopping zone. I argued with the bylaw enforcement officer, but no luck. I was so pissed, I yelled at him: "You have the worst job in the world", to which he replied: " Buddy, you deliver pizza!" FML
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On 10/18/2009 at 9:39am - work - by nick (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML
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On 10/12/2009 at 3:31pm - love - by Sucker (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, was my first day as a bouncer. I was a bit late and didn't meet all the staff. Later that night, some fairly drunk guy was trying to force his way in, I told him we were at capacity and that he would have to wait. He kept trying and I ended up pushing him to the floor. He was the owner. FML
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On 09/28/2009 at 12:11am - work - by Baboosh (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML
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On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got a client who ordered ice cream. She seemed really nice and I thought maybe she was into me. When I asked if she wanted peanuts for an additional 0.50 cents, she said no. Trying to be nice, I added them anyway free of charge. I later had to call the ambulance. She was allergic. FML
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On 09/21/2009 at 2:06am - love - by FreeOfCharge (man) - Canada (Quebec)
