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FMLs submitted from Quebec

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

#21462123
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16467) - you deserved it (1227)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (2540)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

#21442016
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38911) - you deserved it (1960)

On 07/15/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22801) - you deserved it (1377)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32602) - you deserved it (2602)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML

#21306195
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30926) - you deserved it (2658)

On 11/26/2014 at 1:13pm - misc - by unwanted (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, at work, I put on a smile and went to take an elderly gentleman's order. He looked at me, asked if I'd stick a finger in his sweet tea to make it sweeter, then complained that it was a shame I wasn't "on the menu". FML

#21302690
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32876) - you deserved it (3719)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:20am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

#21299049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/14/2014 at 4:58pm - health - by gspotter (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34947) - you deserved it (4975)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

#21270463
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36837) - you deserved it (11018)

On 10/04/2014 at 1:43am - intimacy - by manymisfortunes - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to our new cat. My mom said she'd rather get rid of me than the cat. FML

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (3612)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)



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