FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

by Jbheller / 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was sitting in McDonald's. A lady came up to me and started complaining about the bad service, and asked for the manager. I told her that I didn't work there. "But you must, someone that fat has to work here!" FML

by fatty / 04/28/2015 at 9:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

by f my lifw / 04/07/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML

by Fred / 03/19/2015 at 9:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom told me she'd canceled my spring break trip to Europe for my 16th birthday. Why? So I could get my wisdom teeth pulled 2 months early. FML

by gatewayev700 / 02/26/2015 at 11:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2015 at 8:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my cousin that I would gladly help him through the loss of my aunt. That is until he started flirting with me. FML

by whateven333 / 02/17/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

by ahhhhhh / 02/12/2015 at 12:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had a big figure skating competition. Many of the girls before me fell or did not execute their jumps correctly. Me? I skated a flawless program. I was placed last because they said I didn't push myself hard enough to the point of falling. FML

by depressedskatergirl / 02/06/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous