FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

by notquitejuliet / 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

by _whyy_mee / 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

by nevergiveinever / 07/01/2015 at 9:44am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface / 06/27/2015 at 1:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

by Realworldred / 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

by _kyleG_ / 06/16/2015 at 1:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

by KingFML1 / 06/14/2015 at 1:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III / 06/14/2015 at 9:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

by queenbee / 06/14/2015 at 9:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I wasn't invited to my neighbor's funeral, with whom I had been good friends with for a long time. When I asked her husband why, he said, "We have a small amount of money and can't afford for you to eat all of the refreshments." FML

by DUFF / 06/11/2015 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, as I was putting stuff into the back of my car, a man walked by and said I looked "super fine." When I looked up to look him in the face, he immediately looked disgusted and basically ran away. Apparently, my face does that. FML

by fugly / 06/05/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous