FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML

by Eskyew / 07/23/2009 at 5:40pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

by FlowerPower / 07/20/2009 at 5:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

by hoho5191 / 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

by preggersss / 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

by anonamous / 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

by awkward. / 07/17/2009 at 1:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

by bowhuntpa / 07/16/2009 at 8:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

by Terry / 07/13/2009 at 12:28am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

by wtf / 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade were commenting on my photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation and they planned a whole social event. On my photo. I wasn't invited. FML

by laurraaa / 07/11/2009 at 3:27pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

by takinabreak / 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

by Nicole / 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love