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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I was taking the elevator down with a group of people. It stopped on the 2nd floor and I said "What asshole can't take the steps from the 2nd floor?" Then a kid in a wheelchair got on. FML

#6517
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (46807)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:30pm - misc - by j0natron (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML

#5942
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (17259)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:48am - health - by mrb72 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28726) - you deserved it (3479)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (3386)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28857) - you deserved it (4921)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML

#4106
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29227) - you deserved it (9812)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5392) - you deserved it (39063)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

#2857
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5726) - you deserved it (18168)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (7119)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

#2341
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15089) - you deserved it (14429)

On 01/23/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

#2316
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16166) - you deserved it (5852)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:12am - love - by LC - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21540) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)



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