FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

by SnuggieOverload / 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

by chachi / 09/28/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML

by Greg / 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch, he looked down at my chest and said "I can't wait for the day that these produce milk." We've only been dating a few months and I have no intention of lactating anytime soon. FML

by e11ie / 09/27/2009 at 4:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML

by BOOMerang / 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

by Davios / 09/24/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 10:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I got a new computer because my old one crashed, deleting all music, photos, and documents. I still had all my music on my iPod though, and went to sync it to the new computer. By accident, my younger brother pulled the cord out before it was done, deleting all 3,000 songs forever. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2009 at 4:22pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

by uglyallover / 09/20/2009 at 10:42am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got my first tattoo. When I showed my boyfriend, he asked where I got the design. I told him I saw it in a sketch book of his. He designed it for his last girlfriend, who got it in the same place. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had a blind date with a girl someone in my office set me up with. Before the waitress returned with our drinks, this girl asked me to go to her parent's house and pretend to be the father of her yet unborn child because the real father is a drug addict and in jail for stealing her dad's car. FML

by oh_its_true / 09/18/2009 at 3:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML

by bastawhiz / 09/17/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work