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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64489) - you deserved it (17692)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

#800940
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (164582)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting ready to get in the shower. Completely naked, I pulled the curtain away and there was a huge spider on the wall in the shower. I screamed and my husband, disoriented from sleeping, came running in and knocked me over. I killed the spider with my forehead and broke my nose. FML

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

#771625
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64826) - you deserved it (11037)

On 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by darlingditz (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

#764209
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12633) - you deserved it (125388)

On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

#761091
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83506) - you deserved it (6412)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:09am - work - by olalala2382 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

#701827
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64556) - you deserved it (4256)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by androgynous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you deserved it (180567)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102188) - you deserved it (22307)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a tiff with my boyfriend, I said to him, "You could at least PRETEND to love me sometimes." He responded with, "I do pretend to love you!" FML

#672131
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53561) - you deserved it (24165)

On 03/28/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by Betsydoll (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally decided to tell him I love him. He told me that he loved me too... like a sister! The love of my life has been sleeping with his "sister" for three months. FML

#653617
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64152) - you deserved it (4874)

On 03/27/2009 at 11:15pm - love - by Samsonites (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (139446) - you deserved it (25914)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

#644673
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58751) - you deserved it (22512)

On 03/27/2009 at 3:15pm - health - by Crampon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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