FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

by anonymous / 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

by ironorr / 01/25/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

by rainydays79 / 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

by Chan / 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML

by Anonymous / 01/21/2010 at 12:30am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

by PentiumBawls8 / 01/20/2010 at 5:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

by squirrel / 01/09/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending text, email, or calling, but placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

by farmvillefail / 01/08/2010 at 7:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

by DeadBroke / 01/07/2010 at 12:01am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2010 at 8:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, our airplane was delayed because of issues with the de-ice-ing. Then, because it had too little fuel. Then, because of engine troubles. Then, because our first officer needed to be replaced due to legal restrictions on pilots' hours. Now, I get to go straight from the plane to work. FML

by JSterl / 01/02/2010 at 12:33am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my doctor told me my ankle has been fractured since last week. I've been helping drywall the basement, and trying to walk up and down stairs for a week. My husband has been telling me to man up, and it's not that bad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the painting I worked on for three weeks was rejected from an art contest because the rules prohibit fan art. It wasn't fan art. They mistook it for Twilight fan art. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous