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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML

#3380486
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46729) - you deserved it (18087)

On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61844) - you deserved it (3725)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an invitation in the mail for my dad's third wedding. My first name was misspelled on the envelope. FML

#3165939
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46977) - you deserved it (2344)

On 06/24/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by silkworm (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

#3137659
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52317) - you deserved it (3206)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10837) - you deserved it (59803)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was installing the official 3.0 firmware update for my iPhone. Apple's authentication servers crashed. I now own an iBrick. FML

#2990755
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45325) - you deserved it (8174)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

#2959113
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50630) - you deserved it (4174)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML

#2958719
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23789) - you deserved it (9296)

On 06/16/2009 at 11:42pm - work - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML

#2955411
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29485) - you deserved it (73248)

On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14890) - you deserved it (56198)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61876) - you deserved it (4197)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
397 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61481) - you deserved it (11977)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50883) - you deserved it (5994)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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