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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML

#2955411
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28904) - you deserved it (72286)

On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I used a porta-potty. After I came out, my mom came out of one and said "I really wish I could wash my hands." I explained that I used the little soap bar that was on the side of the toilet in mine. She told me that was a urinal and the soap bar was a disinfectant bar. FML

#2903638
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14613) - you deserved it (55569)

On 06/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by hockeyfanaticx87 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61705) - you deserved it (4190)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

#2829311
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61336) - you deserved it (11949)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by unicorn (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my 5 month old nephew who hasn't pooped in 2 days according to his mom. Well, he pooped. I accidentally stuck my finger in it. While I was wiping my finger off, he rolls over and pees on my new carpet. I roll him over to clean the pee and he opened fire and pooped again. FML

#2816506
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50106) - you deserved it (5916)

On 06/11/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by chuchie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML

#2771745
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63169) - you deserved it (3873)

On 06/10/2009 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oh_baby (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my friends house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldnt see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML

#2714754
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (6395)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:25am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (127282) - you deserved it (7025)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked to Starbucks. On the way a homeless guy asked me for change and I lied and said I had no money. On my way back, Strawberry Frappuccino in hand, the same guy recognized me. He followed me for 3 blocks, swearing and yelling at me. FML

#2695663
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (54817)

On 06/07/2009 at 4:46pm - misc - by Jebus (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

#2428184
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40057) - you deserved it (13999)

On 05/30/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by yumx24 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2350763
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you deserved it (68211)

On 05/27/2009 at 7:10pm - work - by waterproblem (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58235) - you deserved it (7453)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother". FML

#2271321
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78401) - you deserved it (4828)

On 05/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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