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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

#3909858
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33417) - you deserved it (16665)

On 07/20/2009 at 5:32pm - animals - by FlowerPower (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML

#3905141
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10864) - you deserved it (63813)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by hoho5191 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got sick in the airsick bag as my flight landed. The woman next to me, trying to make me feel better, says "Don't handle landings too well?" I responded "No, I actually fly fine, I'm just 8 weeks pregnant." She looked at my left hand, noticed no ring, rolled her eyes and looked away. FML

#3867495
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45232) - you deserved it (15589)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by preggersss (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (87831)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my new boss at my job is the same guy that I turned down repeatedly last night at the bar. FML

#3820845
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51516) - you deserved it (4067)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:02am - work - by awkward. (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finished my project two weeks early. Now I am being laid off because there is no work to do. FML

#3797001
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46134) - you deserved it (3523)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:00am - work - by bowhuntpa (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML

#3705241
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8535) - you deserved it (79733)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:28am - love - by Terry (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was "Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85541) - you deserved it (13329)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received 7 notifications on facebook. Girls in my grade were commenting on my photo because they knew the location of it. They then started to have a conversation and they planned a whole social event. On my photo. I wasn't invited. FML

#3669068
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46333) - you deserved it (3864)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:27pm - misc - by laurraaa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59133) - you deserved it (30758)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124785) - you deserved it (4590)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my girlfriend to Taco Bell since it's her favorite place to eat. I thought it'd be cute to get one of the sauce packets that says "Will you marry me?" on it and give it to her all cute-like. She thought it was adorable. While we were leaving, she threw it out. FML

#3514129
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30832) - you deserved it (22450)

On 07/05/2009 at 9:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56196) - you deserved it (3006)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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