FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I went with my sister to her company Christmas party. They had a gift raffle, my number was called and I won $25 for a local restaurant. A few moments later, the manager came over and said, "You don't work here? You can't have that" and took it from me. FML

by unlucky / 12/15/2010 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

by crushed / 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my driver's test. I was so nervous that I peed my pants halfway through the exam. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2010 at 10:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend told me to Google how to last longer in bed. FML

by anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 5:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. She wants to try dating women. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2010 at 8:54pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I found out the real reason why my brother wasn't at his fiancé's Halloween party. He's been in jail for the past 3 months. When was anyone going to tell me? FML

by anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 9:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

by jadehin / 11/07/2010 at 8:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML

by Googlebug / 11/01/2010 at 6:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

by snoozlagist / 10/30/2010 at 12:52am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous