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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, a professor approached me in the hall to ask if, since I'm a math major, I could tutor one of her communications majors in a required Calculus course. Apparently the volunteer tutor the school provides "is a complete dumbass." I'm the school's volunteer tutor. FML

#5322964
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30674) - you deserved it (3886)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:23pm - work - by bastawhiz (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally told my fiancé about the crippling sexual abuse I suffered through as a child. He immediately broke off the wedding. His reason? He can't marry someone who isn't "pure". FML

#5321781
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84662) - you deserved it (4198)

On 09/17/2009 at 9:36pm - intimacy - by Jackie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to wake my husband up in the middle of the night by kissing him deeply and massaging his neck and shoulders. He opens his eyes, looks at me, says "No", and goes back to sleep. FML

#5306041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16965) - you deserved it (12774)

On 09/17/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by turnoff (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, "I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (4034)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing laundry at college. There was a pile of clothes sitting on top of a dryer, but the dryer was empty so I used it. I came back to a note saying, "Don't touch my laundry, asshole" and a dryer filled with urine soaked laundry. FML

Today, I found out that I was denied for work study eligibility by my college. I went to my financial advisor to ask why. It wasn't my grades or attendance. Apparently my father makes too much money for me to get a job at the school. My dad was fired 3 months ago and has been out of work since. FML

#5096534
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (2107)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:04am - work - by SapphireRaven (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

#4996993
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42393) - you deserved it (5962)

On 09/02/2009 at 11:12am - work - by hoboman (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

#4880927
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (53278)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

#4774624
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44255) - you deserved it (4788)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by secretdeo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turns to my dog and says "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our new dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML

#4726515
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29613) - you deserved it (2722)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:39am - animals - by bigscarypuppy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54488) - you deserved it (41268)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I re-dislocated my arm trying to get it out of the cast it was in because I didn't want to pay the $50 dollar fee to get it taken off. FML

#4660097
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8648) - you deserved it (86366)

On 08/19/2009 at 5:02pm - health - by flaps (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13968) - you deserved it (64300)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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