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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

#21438778
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (2214)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by momoftheyearedition - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

#21438439
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24565) - you deserved it (5630)

On 07/08/2015 at 9:58am - health - by Softball - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided I wanted to bleach my hair, so I asked my mother for help. Apparently, something went wrong, because clumps of my hair started falling out. Now I'm half blonde and half bald, and my mom is just laughing at me. FML

#21436042
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23707) - you deserved it (6285)

On 07/03/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by notquitejuliet - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (1829)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

Today, as I kissed my husband after our wedding vows, my mother-in-law muttered "Slut." loudly from the front row. Everyone heard her, but kept smiling and pretended to be oblivious. FML

#21432863
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (2072)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I have the flu, so I called my boss to let him know I couldn't come in today. He told me to think my "lies" through better, and claimed that you can only get the flu during winter. So I guess I'm faking my pale skin, short breath, runny nose, and constant sneezing. FML

#21432636
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (1817)

On 06/27/2015 at 1:48am - work - by *cough* *cough* you're a dickface (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

Today, my sister started a full-time job with a good pay despite having no prior work experience and being a college freshman. Meanwhile, I've graduated with two degrees, have been working two jobs for the last five years, and still can't get a full-time position anywhere. FML

#21427853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29383) - you deserved it (3050)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm - work - by Realworldred (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time". It was a little weird, but I let her. 10 minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

#21425871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33793) - you deserved it (4988)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - money - by Justin 'Cuntface' Bieber III (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML

#21425869
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (2358)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by queenbee - United States (Pennsylvania)



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