FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I realized how close my boyfriend and best friend are. FML

by clumbsy_at_best / 07/16/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

by McKenna / 07/16/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I got into my first car accident. I side swiped the truck next to me merging into another lane. He was in my blind spot. It was a cop. FML

by bym5052 / 07/14/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

by jreed509 / 07/03/2011 at 1:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

by RYZILLAHitZ / 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

by MakeMyDay_27 / 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

by woahheylex / 06/25/2011 at 10:21am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

by Maddie / 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love