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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my boyfriend came to visit me. He told me he was cheating on me, and that he wanted to break up. I was so angry that as he left, I started screaming at him out of my second story apartment window. I picked up a huge potted plant and shoved it through the window at him. It missed my ex and hit my car. FML

#8646489
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12078) - you deserved it (40910)

On 02/25/2010 at 7:33pm - love - by MUemma (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

#8636971
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19535) - you deserved it (4796)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:18am - misc - by popeye (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

#8606978
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10868) - you deserved it (29512)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:54am - intimacy - by kiki (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went shopping with my mother, when someone snuck a pack of condoms into our cart while our backs were turned. When we got to the register, my mom, whose wealth makes me ineligible for financial aid, noticed the condoms and she announced that she wasn't paying for the college I got accepted to next year because she doesn't want a promiscuous daughter. FML

#8557043
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28078) - you deserved it (2610)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:13pm - misc - by condiments - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom came over to visit and permed my hair. Ten minutes after she started, I told her it was burning. She told me to suck it up because it doesn't hurt that badly. I now have scabs all over my scalp, hairline, and nape. FML

#8443272
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21811) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:24pm - love - by sexxibxmami - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned the reason they say don't keep your phone in high humidity places. I left my phone on the counter when I went to take a shower. It now won't turn on due to water damage and the warranty doesn't cover it. FML

#8341883
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5295) - you deserved it (30816)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:46pm - misc - by boo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

#8332517
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19390) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Why? Because apparently her friends have seen me hanging out with a hot girl, giving her long hugs and making her laugh. That "hot girl" is my sister, who got back from her study abroad a week ago. FML

#8314834
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31624) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was skiing in Vermont for the third day straight. Since I was getting very little sleep, on the top of the chairlift I let out a huge yawn, pulling a muscle in my face. As I slid down the ramp, everyone saw me thrashing my head around and making funny, painful faces as I fell down. FML

#8292410
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18315) - you deserved it (4232)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Floof (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the reason I don't want to stay overnight at his house is because I still occasionally wet the bed. FML

#7614301
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36036) - you deserved it (7280)

On 01/27/2010 at 3:33pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I've been unemployed for a year. For the last six months I had been trying for a good paying job at a great company, who kept saying they would hire me when the economy improves. Three weeks ago I gave up and moved 2 hours away. Guess who just called to finally offer me a job. FML

Today, I realized that I am the only one among my group of friends who names their bowel movements. FML

#7521211
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3915) - you deserved it (51698)

On 01/23/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by rainydays79 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was holding my son and smelled poop so I checked his diaper, but there was nothing there. Then I realized it was my breath. FML

#7509871
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (34834)

On 01/22/2010 at 10:16pm - kids - by Chan (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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