Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

#13116896
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23970) - you deserved it (5766)

On 09/19/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

#12985084
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8866) - you deserved it (30879)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

#12978381
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29413) - you deserved it (8372)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm - love - by kevdev (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

#12913788
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/05/2010 at 4:14am - love - by ohmydog (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

#12838070
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (8952)

On 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a tennis match and it was really hot. I took off my shirt to cool down. A member of the staff then tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my "bare breasts might offend someone." I'm a man. FML

#12832622
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24999) - you deserved it (14336)

On 08/31/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by bennyp77 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

#12807710
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (3002)

On 08/29/2010 at 4:37pm - work - by xharuki - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML

#12793954
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (3632)

On 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm - love - by 713 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, seconds after my mom put my yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

#12625429
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25101) - you deserved it (3106)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML

#12547151
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38614) - you deserved it (3463)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:40pm - intimacy - by Anthony - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

#12542029
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (5719)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm - money - by noespresso (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16583) - you deserved it (41504)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Idan Schneider's illustrated FML
  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: