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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, the girl I like sent me a Facebook message telling me how the message I left on her phone was one of the funniest drunk dials she's ever gotten. I'm debating whether or not I should tell her that I don't drink. FML

#12793954
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26907) - you deserved it (3602)

On 08/28/2010 at 9:36pm - love - by 713 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, seconds after my mom put my yorkie onto my bed, he threw up. His head was not fully over the bed itself, so the wet chunks fell straight into my backpack onto my new school books. FML

#12625429
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24925) - you deserved it (3086)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML

#12547151
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37654) - you deserved it (3380)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:40pm - intimacy - by Anthony - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after already having a terrible day, I went to Starbucks for an espresso. Being nice, I put the last dollar I had in my wallet in their tip jar. While paying for my drink, my card was denied for insufficient funds. The world hates me. FML

#12542029
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27973) - you deserved it (5597)

On 08/15/2010 at 4:20pm - money - by noespresso (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16474) - you deserved it (41359)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to the sound of something hitting my bedroom wall outside. I could see my boyfriend's car from the window, so I assumed he was throwing pebbles to get my attention. I opened the window and an egg flew in. FML

#12334869
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (4030)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML

#12296096
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6093) - you deserved it (48534)

On 08/03/2010 at 9:19pm - misc - by bitch (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered our AOL billing information. Turns out we've been paying for dial-up via automatic bill paying that we thought we cancelled in 2000. $1,800 later, we called to cancel. Customer service congratulated us on being loyal members for over 13 years. FML

#12266156
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17377) - you deserved it (26537)

On 08/02/2010 at 1:23pm - money - by Jay (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

#12236841
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (11820)

On 08/01/2010 at 12:23am - work - by lifeguard down - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met a man at the bar, and he asked me to go home with him. The problem? He's 80. I'm 29. The bigger problem? I considered it. It's been that long. FML

#12231290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (16244)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML

#12198220
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13476) - you deserved it (33277)

On 07/30/2010 at 12:26am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

#11935766
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (42427)

On 07/17/2010 at 2:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, to save money, I wanted to fix my own leaky roof instead of hiring someone. When I got on the roof, the ladder fell. As it was falling, it broke three windows and snagged the siding of my house ripping over half of it off. FML

#11803226
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16345) - you deserved it (26011)

On 07/11/2010 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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