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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

#13467728
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (5564)

On 10/16/2010 at 1:50am - kids - by princessj - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML

#13354725
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6527) - you deserved it (39912)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

#13306628
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9638) - you deserved it (22879)

On 10/03/2010 at 6:24pm - animals - by baconman86 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

#13287186
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (2699)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out less than 3 weeks before my wedding my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

#13263221
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32345) - you deserved it (3133)

On 09/30/2010 at 1:14pm - love - by no luck - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a cold and was vomiting. I sneezed really hard, smacking my nose onto the toilet seat. I woke up a few minutes later with my nose bleeding, painful, and still stuffy. FML

#13188457
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (2399)

On 09/24/2010 at 10:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

#13118537
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14611) - you deserved it (39337)

On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for AAA. Then, hurrying to pick up my brother, I got a $161 speeding ticket. Twenty minutes later, I got a call from him saying he didn't need a ride anymore. FML

#13116896
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (5760)

On 09/19/2010 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my nose was really stuffy. I heard somewhere that inhaling tea steam clears up the nose. While reading a magazine I inhaled my cup of green tea steam, without knowing that slowly I was moving my cup closer to my nose. Hot tea was sucked into my left nostril and burned the inside badly. FML

#12985084
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (30842)

On 09/10/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML

#12978381
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29366) - you deserved it (8366)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm - love - by kevdev (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has a chipped tooth is because his teeth hit another girl's teeth while kissing her. FML

#12913788
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28028) - you deserved it (3249)

On 09/05/2010 at 4:14am - love - by ohmydog (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I learned that if you don't wrap your hair around a bristled curling iron the correct way, you end up getting it stuck, not to mention frying it. Three inches of my hair is now in the trash. FML

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

#12838070
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (8948)

On 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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