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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (3242)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35647) - you deserved it (5429)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38542) - you deserved it (5137)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (4968)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

#16765667
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51217) - you deserved it (5196)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm - love - by Maddie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56165) - you deserved it (3112)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

#16614936
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29219) - you deserved it (6729)

On 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (9672)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14658) - you deserved it (28370)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

#16464729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (33871)

On 06/02/2011 at 6:05am - misc - by ohcrap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

#16209782
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42086) - you deserved it (4041)

On 05/16/2011 at 6:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

#16160002
534 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35858) - you deserved it (18922)

On 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37599) - you deserved it (6393)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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