Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML

#17379792
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31934) - you deserved it (2677)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after returning home from a camping trip, I found a leech on my love spuds. I ended up having to call my dad in to help me get it off. FML

#17221687
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (4672)

On 07/22/2011 at 8:57pm - intimacy - by jab43 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

#17211939
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44996) - you deserved it (11052)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:00am - intimacy - by James - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

#17207535
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14837) - you deserved it (45074)

On 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by ohmygosh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML

#17193667
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29896) - you deserved it (2376)

On 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm - misc - by cheddar (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized how close my boyfriend and best friend are. FML

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34292) - you deserved it (16486)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I side swiped the truck next to me merging into another lane. He was in my blind spot. It was a cop. FML

#17112107
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25161) - you deserved it (13484)

On 07/14/2011 at 8:28pm - misc - by bym5052 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML

#16972353
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27162) - you deserved it (4267)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36805) - you deserved it (3759)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33606) - you deserved it (3242)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (5428)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (5135)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: