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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML

#15769893
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40241) - you deserved it (5263)

On 04/13/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by sophie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

#15749672
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55640) - you deserved it (14024)

On 04/12/2011 at 12:27am - love - by BrokeAndPsst (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

#15713068
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16446) - you deserved it (24002)

On 04/09/2011 at 7:00pm - animals - by Danielle - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

#15698653
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (35213)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home to find the key to my mailbox missing. I called the post office and was informed that a new key will cost me $15. I have no money, and my paycheck is in the mailbox. FML

#15636997
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33766) - you deserved it (4870)

On 04/04/2011 at 3:47pm - money - by DaisyMay (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in church. After we were done praying, I quickly sat back down, accidentally crushing my testicles in the process. I squealed loudly and all but pissed my pants, earning me plenty of weird looks from the congregation. FML

#15574334
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20552) - you deserved it (22772)

On 03/31/2011 at 11:54am - misc - by Nate (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47230) - you deserved it (4457)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13022) - you deserved it (47660)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

#15408372
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (6234)

On 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47573) - you deserved it (8288)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27133) - you deserved it (8797)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

#15209199
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57649) - you deserved it (3688)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

#15205638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32787) - you deserved it (5079)

On 03/05/2011 at 9:19am - intimacy - by mrssagdiyev (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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