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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

#15205638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31271) - you deserved it (4925)

On 03/05/2011 at 9:19am - intimacy - by mrssagdiyev (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

#15142777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (2534)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53628) - you deserved it (4652)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16304) - you deserved it (46344)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (5299)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46806) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

#14952772
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9417) - you deserved it (51405)

On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

#14791942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (6467)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47660) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that in conclusion to working five nights in a row, I'm scheduled to work the night shift on Valentine's day with my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

#14738365
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45745) - you deserved it (5500)

On 01/27/2011 at 11:35pm - misc - by Scaredwitless (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother dragged me into Victoria's Secret to get my opinion on some lingerie. Lingerie she'll be using to get into my dad's pants this evening. FML

#14731317
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (3232)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking home, I passed some little girls who threw a bunch of snowballs at me. I dodged every single one, ran away laughing, and gave them the finger. I then ran into a snowman. FML

#14727355
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12117) - you deserved it (41925)

On 01/27/2011 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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