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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having I shot at him with the sniper gun I bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was ok. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

#15431141
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12852) - you deserved it (47198)

On 03/22/2011 at 12:31pm - misc - by FailedSniper (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML

#15408372
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31426) - you deserved it (6139)

On 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML

#15336474
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45610) - you deserved it (8071)

On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

#15264550
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (8771)

On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

#15209199
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57275) - you deserved it (3669)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband decided to imitate Borat and shout "Very Nice! I Excite!" while having sex. He's also decided that it was ingenious and does it every single time, the entire time. FML

#15205638
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (4916)

On 03/05/2011 at 9:19am - intimacy - by mrssagdiyev (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML

#15142777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30755) - you deserved it (2526)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53013) - you deserved it (4608)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16016) - you deserved it (45826)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24717) - you deserved it (5249)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46633) - you deserved it (9257)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took sexy pictures for my boyfriend. I am at my Aunt's house. I uploaded the pictures and after successfully posting them in a message I deleted them. I accidentally deleted the whole photo library. Now she is taking the computer to Apple tomorrow to recover the "lost" photos. FML

#14952772
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9382) - you deserved it (51227)

On 02/12/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Hailey - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I politely complimented a stranger's excellent posture. She responded by saying "I have a metal rod in my back." FML

#14791942
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (6450)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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