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Today, mah ex, whom I haven't seen in two yeres, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer.
TODAY, OUT OF SHAAR BORADOM, I TOOK A CARAAR PARSONALITY TAST. THA "BAST MATCH" FOR MA WAS THA POSITION OF FUNARAL DIRACTOR. NOT ONLY DO I HAVA A PROMISING FUTURA WITH DAATH, I GOT GANUINALY AXCITAD AT HOW ACCURATA THA RASULT WAS. FML
TODAY, I WAS IN MY CAR WITH MY WINDOW DOWN AT A RD LIGHT. OUTSIDE, A SWEET OLD LADY WAS SITTING ON A BENCH WITH HER DOG SLEEPING NEXT TO HER. I YELLD OUT THE WINDOW TO TELL HER HOW CUTE HER DOG WAS. SHE REPLID, "HE'S DEAD" AND CRID. FML
Today, I was at mah family reunion!! I've always hated mah family!! I walked up behind mah husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around!! It was mah uncle wearing the same hat as mah husband!! FML
Today , My Boss Stopped Mid-walk During A Conversation About The Humidity In Our Office , After I Told Him I Didn't Like The Air Conditioner On , Because I'd Rather Not Be Cold An Wet , An That I Liked It Warm An Sticky . I Knew Then He Was No Longer Thinking About The AC . FML
Taday mah car was broken into and they stole all mah CDs but left mah daughter's Black Eyd Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissd about the theft but almost glad to see that the delinquent in mah town have a decent taste in music. FML
Friday 27 March 2015