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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (16409)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I side swiped the truck next to me merging into another lane. He was in my blind spot. It was a cop. FML

#17112107
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22971) - you deserved it (12685)

On 07/14/2011 at 8:28pm - misc - by bym5052 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got cock-blocked by the laundry. My boyfriend was the one who wanted to do laundry. FML

#16972353
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (4159)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35058) - you deserved it (3610)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32199) - you deserved it (3123)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

#16914015
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (5228)

On 06/29/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by RYZILLAHitZ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (5114)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after ordering pizza, I heard some strange noises coming from my basement so I called the cops. The pizza came fifteen minutes before the cops. FML

#16848104
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (4809)

On 06/25/2011 at 10:21am - misc - by woahheylex - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses me for two things. 1) My food. 2) My sister. FML

#16765667
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50791) - you deserved it (5185)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:05pm - love - by Maddie - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

#16622108
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53235) - you deserved it (2934)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

#16614936
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28861) - you deserved it (6701)

On 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (9633)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (27868)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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