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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20322) - you deserved it (33683)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

#18034298
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24319) - you deserved it (5591)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm - misc - by smeeagain - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

#18008863
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6815) - you deserved it (47909)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37792) - you deserved it (2350)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

#17823625
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27116) - you deserved it (6556)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML

#17782982
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25042) - you deserved it (4445)

On 09/19/2011 at 8:20pm - love - by Tech Savvy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my school is having their homecoming, and it seems everyone but me has someone to go with. My best friend has her boyfriend, my brother has a date, and I have my hamster. FML

#17648334
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25342) - you deserved it (6243)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

#17646578
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19540) - you deserved it (4439)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm - work - by whattalife (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML

#17643639
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22475) - you deserved it (3866)

On 09/02/2011 at 10:56am - animals - by PghSportsNation - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (4181)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17957) - you deserved it (35637)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my mother-in-law is house hunting in my town. There is a house for sale 2 doors down from me. In her price range. FML

#17574170
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (2100)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by momma6126 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

#17557352
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34833) - you deserved it (4415)

On 08/23/2011 at 11:55am - kids - by Username - United States (Pennsylvania)



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