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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (2686)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (1898)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

#18523510
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (1932)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21698) - you deserved it (2687)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48224) - you deserved it (3617)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (2438)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26159) - you deserved it (2059)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML

#18184829
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33307) - you deserved it (2756)

On 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35990) - you deserved it (5018)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML

#18117360
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45339) - you deserved it (8906)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I introduced my new boyfriend to my parents. Everyone knows he's into the emo scene, but this didn't stop my dad from slowly looking him up and down, then saying, completely deadpan, "You never told us you were a lesbian, honey." FML

#18041675
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20302) - you deserved it (33655)

On 10/21/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML

#18034298
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (5587)

On 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm - misc - by smeeagain - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while leaving a football game, I saw a half-empty bottle of Mountain Dew on the ground. It was night-time and there weren't many people around, so for a laugh, I picked it up and tossed it behind me as hard as I could. It hit someone. FML

#18008863
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6803) - you deserved it (47872)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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