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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Pennsylvania

Today, our school chorus went to a senior citizens' home. An elderly lady died during my solo. FML

#18964784 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (12065) - you deserved it (1035)

On 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm - misc - by sorrygrandma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (5515) - you deserved it (2726)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

#18930707 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (6674) - you deserved it (1115)

On 01/28/2012 at 12:58am - money - by INeedMoney - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my father introduced me to his new girlfriend. She could have passed for my little sister, or even worse, my daughter. FML

#18881598 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (8878) - you deserved it (571)

On 01/22/2012 at 4:26pm - love - by Laura (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

#18788734 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (3711) - you deserved it (7201)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking a shower at the gym when hearing a loud popping noise. Surprised and startled, I jumped and slipped, hitting my head against the shower wall that left a small gash. The pop noise was just someone blowing bubbles from their gum. FML

#18685052 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (14827) - you deserved it (3336)

On 01/02/2012 at 10:38am - misc - by Anon O'Mous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother got incredibly drunk. She told me that only "sluts and whores" shave their pubes. She then told me that she's never once trimmed or shaved her pubes, because she's "moral." Thanks for that mental image, mom. FML

#18641701 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (1498)

On 12/29/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Grossed Out (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (5610) - you deserved it (519)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a stoplight dropped square into the bed of my pickup truck. The police think I was attempting to steal it, and my insurance won't cover the damage to my truck. There were no witnesses. FML

#18523510 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (583)

On 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm - misc - by metallicatime - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

#18497934 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (6706) - you deserved it (809)

On 12/12/2011 at 9:04pm - misc - by unknown - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (13692) - you deserved it (969)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man tried to rob the winery I worked at by knife-point. I managed to scare him off by throwing a bottle of wine at him. My boss fired me because I broke a $25 bottle of wine. FML

#18423886 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (11397) - you deserved it (654)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML

#18353086 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (8570) - you deserved it (558)

On 11/26/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Help - United States (Pennsylvania)