Today, it was my turn to take out the trash. While walking to the dumpster, I slip and fall. It doesn't really hurt, so I get up and go to the dumpster, but the top is frozen stuck. It won't budge. Then I really pull with a lot of force, and the lid swings open and busts my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10700) - you totally deserved it (1671)
On 02/13/2010 at 8:44am - misc - by lolographic24 - Norway (Oslo)
Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15949) - you totally deserved it (3469)
On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - kids - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18876) - you totally deserved it (1326)
On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19686) - you totally deserved it (965)
On 11/11/2009 at 3:28pm - work - by NCanalyst - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I realized that the only thing I learned from my first serious relationship was how to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6548) - you totally deserved it (1644)
On 10/27/2009 at 2:49pm - intimacy - by kjirut (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you totally deserved it (978)
On 10/16/2009 at 3:27am - health - by dentistvictim (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8348) - you totally deserved it (29277) - moderated and selected by the Jackass crew
On 07/30/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by solomantis (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I went to buy lunch at a grocery store. The total was 3 pounds, and my card got rejected for insufficient funds. I fished about for change, and found I only had 2 pounds. A homeless man behind me in the queue then offered to give me the remaining pound. A homeless man paid my lunch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you totally deserved it (8872)
On 07/29/2009 at 10:24am - money - by faentalivetmitt (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today I found out that the guy I've been dating for the past 7 months, who insisted on keeping us a secret because it was "too soon", is proudly showing off his 19 year old new girlfriend he met a month ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27090) - you totally deserved it (3543)
On 07/20/2009 at 3:07pm - love - by Grevling (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my mother had to take a stool sample because she has been ill for several days. Curious, I eventually had to ask, "how did you intercept the poo before it got submerged in water?". She yelled from the other room, "you know that little plate with the red stripe". I was eating off of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60311) - you totally deserved it (3968)
On 03/14/2009 at 7:06pm - health - by imfullthanks (man) - Norway (Oslo)
[ Page : 1 ]
« Previous page | Next page »
