Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14386) - you deserved it (18079)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29874) - you deserved it (5125)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (7301)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom finally admitted to me that ever since I was a child, she thought I was autistic, but was always too lazy to take me to the doctors and get me checked out. FML

#17199829
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (2087)

On 07/21/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I left my bedroom window open to let in some fresh air while I slept. A skunk got in and sprayed my room. FML

#16963316
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26482) - you deserved it (7685)

On 07/03/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by siannacasey - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8342) - you deserved it (21327)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34645) - you deserved it (7608)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

#16628523
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (4989)

On 06/12/2011 at 2:47pm - kids - by Brandy_Dandy78 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML

#16477855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (3873)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:47am - work - by whymyliferose - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got into a staring contest with my dog. I actually cheered when I won. FML

#16447532
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (8603)

On 06/01/2011 at 3:39am - animals - by Lifeless (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got hurt and spent the remainder of the day limping. I wish I could say it was from something badass like roller derby, but I can't. A woman with a rolling cart filled with packs of Pepsi rolled over my foot on the bus. FML

#15809237
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (3428)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by pepsifoot - United States (Oregon)

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

#15679727
590 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48040) - you deserved it (5151)

On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

#15479009
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29008) - you deserved it (4854)

On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: