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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

#18159887
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13033) - you deserved it (32392)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML

#17996037
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35380) - you deserved it (4978)

On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)

Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML

#17987492
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (3469)

On 10/15/2011 at 3:18am - misc - by Ca13b - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

#17758843
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (2164)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

#17729862
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22732) - you deserved it (9663)

On 09/12/2011 at 6:32pm - misc - by justhereforlaughs (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25047) - you deserved it (6895)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while playing a gig with my band, I tried pulling the classic "playing the guitar with one foot on the monitor" rock-star pose. However, I misjudged the height of the monitor, didn't notice the puddle of beer in front of it, slipped, and fell off the stage into the security guy. FML

#17679142
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9721) - you deserved it (24204)

On 09/06/2011 at 8:07am - misc - by NotKeithRichards - United States (Oregon)

Today, my whole family piled into our station wagon just to watch my mom take part in an arm wrestling contest. FML

#17634077
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19560) - you deserved it (3265)

On 09/01/2011 at 5:55am - misc - by Chris75 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my stepbrother found my diary and read it. He then told my boyfriend how I had a crush on another guy, and no longer liked him, causing my boyfriend to break up with me. That diary was from the third grade. FML

#17535182
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:25am - love - by Tinkerer - United States (Oregon)

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15988) - you deserved it (19485)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

#17381652
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31023) - you deserved it (5251)

On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (7510)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom finally admitted to me that ever since I was a child, she thought I was autistic, but was always too lazy to take me to the doctors and get me checked out. FML

#17199829
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (2258)

On 07/21/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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