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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

#18825467
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22942) - you deserved it (3757)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33905) - you deserved it (5272)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (4602)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

#18569978
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21999) - you deserved it (4916)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was giving a presentation at work, when I said, "But we could care less about that." My boss asked if I meant, "Couldn't care less." Wanting to avoid embarrassment, I tried to think up an excuse, only to end up blurting that it was my phone's auto-correct. FML

#18512301
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6957) - you deserved it (30321)

On 12/14/2011 at 4:21pm - work - by sharon (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

#18508654
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (11023)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

#18474443
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22824) - you deserved it (2850)

On 12/10/2011 at 5:14am - misc - by dee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48440) - you deserved it (3524)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I chipped a tooth trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. FML

#18343530
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9621) - you deserved it (25474)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:27am - health - by yollew - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband threw up in the shower after drinking almost a whole bottle of wine. The shower won't drain now. Happy Thanksgiving. FML

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25409) - you deserved it (3623)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had an anxiety attack because I thought I'd lost my anxiety medication. It ended up being on the shelf right where I left it. FML

#18260815
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (9228)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by anxiety (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

#18159887
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13059) - you deserved it (32471)

On 11/04/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



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