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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17829) - you deserved it (1860)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

#20149150
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20123) - you deserved it (2643)

On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (2848)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

#20100511
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28720) - you deserved it (1721)

On 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7541) - you deserved it (18028)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML

#20091884
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20178) - you deserved it (3422)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19675) - you deserved it (7353)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I was out drinking with some friends in a Safeway parking lot, when I saw a familiar-looking vehicle pull up beside us. It was my dad, who angrily got out and demanded that I come home. I'm twenty-four, and now the laughingstock of my social circle. FML

Today, I invited my girlfriend over to a family lunch, planning to propose to her at just the right moment. My family was in on it, including my apparently disapproving mom, who kept causing a scene to grab my girlfriend's attention every time I went to pull out the ring. FML

#20016767
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (2310)

On 08/12/2012 at 11:49am - love - by jake (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML

#20012686
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22531) - you deserved it (2890)

On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that when you hear a bump in the night, it's best not to check your parents' room. Some things cannot be unseen. FML

#20001682
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14721) - you deserved it (19121)

On 08/04/2012 at 2:56am - misc - by alyssabree42 - United States (Oregon)



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