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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42981) - you deserved it (20680)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51112) - you deserved it (4307)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

#20720351
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41860) - you deserved it (2635)

On 06/11/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Elephant1718 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81403) - you deserved it (5561)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59882) - you deserved it (2936)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (34848)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML

#20657778
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46967) - you deserved it (3895)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:20am - health - by those_allergies - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36120) - you deserved it (3026)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML

#20543527
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39209) - you deserved it (9728)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML

#20538687
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32761) - you deserved it (2544)

On 03/10/2013 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML

#20536189
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (3543)

On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32782) - you deserved it (2394)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

#20525305
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (12352)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:19am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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