Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

#157992
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37495) - you deserved it (11617)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by caswell 1 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10301) - you deserved it (120875)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59534) - you deserved it (3065)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

#11602
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11147) - you deserved it (45123)

On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (7402)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

#4884
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26011) - you deserved it (1923)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Chakkamofo - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (36568)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13568) - you deserved it (69363)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: