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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80280) - you deserved it (13717)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the school's rec center, working out for the first time in a while. While there, there was this very mysteriously attractive girl who kept shooting me glances. I asked for her number and she responded by saying "if you can lift this same weight as me". I couldn't. FML

#157992
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36591) - you deserved it (11328)

On 02/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by caswell 1 (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8148) - you deserved it (112095)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57665) - you deserved it (2927)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

#11602
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10125) - you deserved it (42676)

On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, a woman walked out of the Humane Society with a cat carrier. I said, "Oh did you adopt him?" She walked past and started crying. She had just brought her cat in to be euthanized. FML

#6800
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15519) - you deserved it (6722)

On 02/03/2009 at 6:19pm - animals - by Ves (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card saying "You made it to 36!". It's my 35th birthday. FML

#4884
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (1868)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by Chakkamofo - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16309) - you deserved it (32649)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12657) - you deserved it (66416)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)



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