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FMLs submitted from Oregon

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower!! It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers!! real FML

#3143801
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/23/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by stew (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was cashiering at Target looool when an old woman cummed into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." mega FML

#3129056
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51177) - you deserved it (3100)

On 06/22/2009 at 8:21pm - work - by the_captain (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was smoking in my car an flicked te butt... into te face of a cop on a motorcycle going te oter way. FML

#2846826
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (70304)

On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I decided to give blood for the second time. I felt excrutiating painhen she stuck the needle in mah arm. looool Another nurse came running over in a panic. Apparently mah inexperienced nurse had put it in mah tendon instead of mah vein. FML

#2363233
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63397) - you deserved it (2482)

On 05/28/2009 at 12:19am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

yesterday I had a job interview. I had to drop my daughter off with my babysitter frst. When I got to the interview I got a werd look from the vice president of the company. I had lime green poop running down the side of my white blouse. FML

#2341558
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49632) - you deserved it (6889)

On 05/27/2009 at 2:15pm - kids - by boo (woman) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I WAS FEELING REALLY DOWN. SO I TEXTD BOYFRIEND AN ASKD HIM TO TELL ME WHY HE LOVES ME, THINKING HE WOULD CHEER ME UP. HIS RESPONSE? "DON'T BUG ME WITH THIS STUPID SHIT ANYMORE. YOU ALWAYS ASK SUCH DUMB QUESTIONS." FML

#2264507
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35721) - you deserved it (54200)

On 05/25/2009 at 1:39am - love - by downer (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was drying off with a towel after coming in from outside. I noticed that the bathroom smelled like cat pee, so I sniffed all around to find out where my cat peed. Turns out, he peed on the towel that I was drying myself off with. FML

#2071400
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45728) - you deserved it (7293)

On 05/19/2009 at 1:19am - animals - by Tcake (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Taday I'm On Vacation !! I Spent $4000 To Surprise Mah Boyfriend On A Trip To Hawaii !! We Have Been Together Over A Year !! Turns Out, He Hates The Outdoors !! He's Mad At Me For Bringing Him Here And Is Upset At Everything !! He's In The Room Reading, I'm At The Bar Drinking $10 Mai Tai's !! FML

#2062305
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50477) - you deserved it (15641)

On 05/18/2009 at 9:11pm - misc - by Fubar0906 (man) - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, I LEFT THE SLIDING GLASS DOOR TO OUR TOWNHOUSE OPEN BECAUSE IT WAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY . OUR NEW PUPPY, WHOM WE HAVE BEEN POTTY TRAINING, PED IN THE YARD AND I PRAISD HIM RELENTLESSLY . HE THEN WALKD INSIDE THE HOUSE, POOPD ON THE CARPET, AND RAN BACK OUTSIDE . FML

#1590703
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43566) - you deserved it (6606)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by lalibear (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I noticed that someone smeared ( wash me ) into the grime of car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, putted vehicle in neutral, an kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML

#1586580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13817) - you deserved it (56411)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML

#1479634
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46842) - you deserved it (9491)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple ( close calls ) walking home from work late at night. She was so excited an thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

#1446877
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54289) - you deserved it (13963)

On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbd soma rafrid baans that wara in a plastic containar out of tha fridga and put tham on top of tha chips. Aftar I’m complataly dona aating mah mom looks in tha fridga and askd ma if I knaw whara tha cat food was. I just ata a small can of cat food. FML

#1409233
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15001) - you deserved it (48441)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:38pm - animals - by youwouldbeacat - United States (Oregon)



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